In the Strangers' Defense

I ventured out into the world again and ran into three strangers that cancelled out yesterday's experience. The lady at the checkout and the woman behind us kept calling Missy "Beautiful Girl." On the way out I put her in the big part of the shopping cart (the part you are not supposed to unless that is the only way to manage a cart and a toddler) and a man asked, "Which aisle did you find her?" I thought it was cute, but didn't quite know what to say in return. I mumbled something about being 50% off. That was on my mind since that was how much Missy's Christmas present was discounted. Then he came back with, "Does she have a 30-day money back guarantee?" This reply was easy. "Nope. I get to keep her forever." He agreed and it was a warm-hearted exchange. He even ended our impromptu conversation with, "Take care." So there you have it. I was totally disgruntled yesterday about going into public, and today was thrilled. Just goes to show that some strangers can be slightly offensive, while others are sincere and kind.

Rude?

I ventured out into the world today. I went to go pick up Missy's pictures we had taken a few weeks ago. After picking up the pictures and being offered a few extras for such a low price (sheesh) the woman at the portrait studio started to chit-chat. We were talking about Hawaii and how I shouldn't go there because I am "very white." Oh, thank you. While leaving the mall, I tried to be thoughtful and considerate of someone else. I hustled a few paces to help a woman with a stroller through a door. The woman (who didn't say thank-you, BTW) asked why Missy was in such a hurry. "Is it because you are going to go eat something?" she asked. I said "No, she just wants to see the baby." The lady replied, "Oh, he is no baby. He is going to be one year on Dec. 26." "Oh!" I replied, "Her birthday is the 31st." She responded, "She is so small, will she be one?" "No, two." I say over my shoulder as I'm walking away. Meanwhile the woman's face has this most shocked look. Jaw dropped, eyes all big, and just standing there. Yeah, thanks. I really needed your opinion today.

Why is it that children are under such scrutiny? "She's tall, he's big, she's cute, he's short blah, blah, blah." We talk about them like they are not even there. And furthermore, everything is such a judgement. Why can't we just say, "How old is he? Ohhh....children sure are wonderful. It was nice to meet you." Instead of offering evaluation/judgment/advice.

What about you? What's the worst thing a stranger has ever said to you? Do you brush it off or does it bug you?

P.S. In regards to my last post...I ran into a blog that was talking about the very issue of spanking. It talked about how Christians believe in spanking because that is what the Bible tells them to do. This person's comment shed new light on the subject: "As far as the “rod” Bible verse goes… From what I’ve read, in context the translation of “rod” from the Hebrew refers to a shepard’s staff. That would make sense, right? A rod isn’t used to beat the sheep, it’s used to firmly guide them on the correct path."

Here's for a good laugh!

*Thanks for sounding off about phones! I enjoyed reading every one's perspective.*

I just got my new book in the mail, "Mothering and Fathering: The gender Differences in Child Rearing." In light of all the same-gender marriage opinions I wanted to better understand why having a mother and a father is in the best interest of a child. I read a review of the book and thought it would enlarge my understanding, as well as help me understand the different approaches between My Hero and I. You can find a link to this book on my shelfari bookcase.

I eagerly opened it today and have enjoyed it so far. The author's main thesis is that most child-rearing is done by a mother (female perspective) while most advice is written by experts and doctors (male perspective). She argues that both perspectives are important and that the mother should not push away her motherly instincts in favor of a supposed expert. In it, the author Tine Thevenin, cites quotes from men from the early ages.

The first is from the book of Proverbs. Her version says, "The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother." What?! The bible talks about whipping a child? I can't believe this. Sure enough I opened up to the King James version of the book of proverbs and found this "Withold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell" (Proverbs 23:13-14).

If your parenting philosophy includes spankings, then this scripture will bring you comfort and validation. If you don't believe in spanking you may take solace that Proverbs is in the "old Testament." Jesus Christ brings to light many new teachings in the "new Testament" such as "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you" (Eph 4:32).

The next quote is from Aelfric (c. 1000) an Anglo-Saxon monk and writer. He said, "As he spared his rod, he hated his child."

The third and final quote that really gave me a good laugh, mostly because I found myself nodding in agreement with the idea of validating a child's feeling and "mourning with those that mourn" (Mosiah 18:9) and then was completely slapped in the face. It is by Maffeo Vegio a Fifteenth-century Florentine poet. "Mothers say 'no' to no request. They let [their children] have their way; they take their side when they complain about the hurts of their playmates or the blows of their teachers, just as if...they themselves were injured. Finally, they allow them complete license for whatever they want....What could be more monstrous than this easy and permissive education, which mothers in particular are wont to follow?"

So there you have it. The man's view of child-rearing throughout the years. Whatever your philosophy, take to heart the next time someone offers advice (male or female) that doesn't ring true for you, that it is just advice. After all, you are a mother and the Lord has given you characteristics and abilities that will benefit your children.

When you disagree with your spouse over parenting issues does it just aggravate you or ultimately work out for the benefit of all? What are the benefits you've seen in your family (past or present) by having a mother and a father.

Does this suit you?

I just learned about this new phone on Momformation. It helps you manage your time and activities. It's a phone, planner, checks email and plays music.

What I'm wondering is how long it would take to type in all that information on the tiny keys. What's wrong with a free calendar on the wall and *hopefully* a pen nearby? Are planners and notebooks a thing of the past? My Hero and I recently were talking about how technology (at least the Internet) can be total time-zappers.

What do you think? Would this new phone waste more time or help simplify life? Would it become a distraction or bring order to a busy life?