I ventured out into the world today. I went to go pick up
Missy's pictures we had taken a few weeks ago. After picking up the pictures and being offered a few extras for such a low price (
sheesh) the woman at the portrait studio started to chit-chat. We were talking about Hawaii and how I shouldn't go there because I am "very white." Oh, thank you. While leaving the mall, I tried to be thoughtful and considerate of someone else. I
hustled a few paces to help a woman with a stroller through a door. The woman (who didn't say thank-you, BTW) asked why
Missy was in such a hurry. "Is it because you are going to go eat something?" she asked. I said "No, she just wants to see the baby." The lady replied, "Oh, he is no baby. He is going to be one year on Dec. 26." "Oh!" I replied, "Her birthday is the 31st." She responded, "She is so small, will she be one?" "No, two." I say over my shoulder as I'm walking away. Meanwhile the woman's face has this most shocked look. Jaw dropped, eyes all big, and just standing there. Yeah, thanks. I really needed your opinion today.
Why is it that children are under such scrutiny? "She's tall, he's big, she's cute, he's short blah, blah, blah." We talk about them like they are not even there. And furthermore, everything is such a judgement. Why can't we just say, "How old is he?
Ohhh....children sure are wonderful. It was nice to meet you." Instead of offering evaluation/judgment/advice.
What about you? What's the worst thing a stranger has ever said to you? Do you brush it off or does it bug you?
P.S. In regards to my last post...I ran into a blog that was talking about the very issue of spanking. It talked about how Christians believe in spanking because that is what the Bible tells them to do. This person's comment shed new light on the subject: "As far as the “rod” Bible verse goes… From what I’ve read, in context the translation of “rod” from the Hebrew refers to a shepard’s staff. That would make sense, right? A rod isn’t used to beat the sheep, it’s used to firmly guide them on the correct path."
9 comments:
Most of the comments I hear about Brinnley are in regard to her red hair. Those comments are not bad. Ainsley I hear things like, "She is very short!" But mostly I hear people say, "She is too small to be talking that well." Nothing terrible. The worst came from the dr. office when the nurse said Brinn was chunky. I did not appreciate that. And when I was pregnant with Brinn someone asked me if I was having twins. That did a lot for the already damaged self esteem. Mostly I just think of the saying "If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all."
I don't even know what to say! I can't believe that people can be so weird about kids. I just love kids to death and even though I'm not perfect I try to just realize that ALL kids are different and our Heavenly Father loves us the way we are. So...why shouldn't we? I think you little Missy is perfect just the way she is and I'm excited that she's gonna be two this month...Sariah is too and it's just awesome!!
Sorry you had that encounter with that lady. You'd think the first of her concerns would be thanking you for helping her out, not wondering why Little Missy was moving so fast etc. Kids definitely do come in all shapes and sizes and there is nothing wrong with that. I think that is funny how she responded when you called her almost one year old a baby! How dreadful that he be called that at such an age. Goodness you'd think she'd be sad to see that baby stage go. Kinda funny! Sometimes you just got to shrug those things off, although sometimes easier said then done. I hope you encounter nicer people on future outings. That was nice of you to try and help her out!
On the spanking issue, I've also read and very much agree with the interpretation of the word "rod" to mean the shepherd's staff from that passage of scripture some Christians use to support spanking. Personally, I can't imagine Jesus spanking a child, so my personal resolve is to try to be the same way. Is it going to work? Probably not (and I say that b/c I was spanked as a kid so it's already in my background) but I'm sure going to try. That's my own take on it and I know that it's NOT easy to do ... so I don't judge anyone who feels like they need to.
I am probably one of those people who make rude comments about kids without realizing how offensive it is. For instance, I love tiny babies, so whenever I meet a 5 month-old that is the size of a 3 month-old, I always say, ohhhh, she is sooo tiny! I honestly thought it was a compliment. Every person is different, and I think it is okay if babies are big or tiny. They are just babies!
Ever since writing this post I've been more aware of what comes out of my mouth. Just today I said, "She's getting so big." Meaning, she's growing up, her face looks older. The mother came back with, "Yes she's a porker." I really didn't mean her size, I was just noticing how her face looked more grown up.
I just discovered your blog today and thank you-it's given me some things to think about in a different way. I have 4 girls and last February had a boy so the rudest comments I've heard come from people who say things like oh you finally had a boy or I bet you're so happy you had a boy or you finally got it right (the worst). Of course, we're happy we had a boy but we'd be just as happy if he were a girl-as long as they are healthy. We weren't trying for a boy which is what a lot of people think. I just hate when they make comments like this in front of the girls. Then, we always get the are you done? When are you going to have another? You kind of feel like saying none of your business :)
Hi Dawn! Welcome to the blog. I'd love to hear your perspective on all my rants, so I hope you keep reading! That has to be the worst to be asked such personal questions. I heard the funniest true story lately along those lines. It goes like this, a man was asked when he and his wife were going to have a baby. His reply was, "Ya know, we've been hugging, kissing, and holding hands ever since we were married and we still haven't had a baby. It is the weirdest thing." The woman looked a bit shocked and probably wondered if she should tell him how babies are made, but instead walked away a little dazed.
People always comment on X's cheeks..."ohhh, he has big cheeks", "just look at those cheeks", "I want to pinch those cheeks", etc. Looking back at his baby pictures I see how big his cheeks really are but I think it's weird to still get those comments now. I find that my mood that day really decides how I take the comment. I may feel agreeing and saying thank you to the person who noticed my cute kid or I may get defensive and say he's really thinned out. :)
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